Friday, September 23, 2011

If I Quit Putting Quarters in the Merry-Go-Round Will It Just Stop?

Okay, well the beginning of this was my thought process when there was a possibility the ovarian cancer was recurring. I started writing this in June, and those of you who know me know the rest of the story which appears after my rant about the possible recurrence.

Previously on "What's Going on in My Head"

(June, 2011) Well, this just sucks! (Yes, I know my sweet daughters, I told you all your lives not use that expression.) But this REALLY does suck!

Will I have to get back on the chemo merry-go-round and if I do, do I have any more quarters? That's a tough one. You see, original symptoms are almost all back, CA-125 is up. A lot. And the doc says he feels something. Wouldn't worry about the something he feels if the CA-125 wasn't up and wouldn't worry about the CA-125 if he hadn't felt something. Oh, yes, and there are the symptoms, that if you check are all pretty common for my age, weight, etc. (Ladies, please go to my "Fight Like a Girl Page" and memorize those symptoms and get to the doctor pronto if you have any of them for more than two weeks!)

Okay, back to my rant... did I mention that research now shows that worry and stress contribute to the growth of the beast commonly known as ovarian cancer? Hmmm. Now let's see, can I really choose not to worry and stress out? I try. I really do. And I think I've done a pretty dang good job, too. I think I've had a really good attitude. I have turned it over to the Lord as I know to do and as many are quick to remind me to do.  But enough already. I don't want back on that ride. I don't want to do that again. And CAN  I even do it again? ...and so went the rant.

Fast Forward...Is It Really September Already?

Well, yep. The beast is back. With a vengeance. CA-125 shot up from my steady 12-14 to 300+ faster than a speeding bullet. Glad I listened to my body and not my former doc's nurse. She said back in late May or early June when I asked for another CA-125 before my next appointment which was scheduled in AUGUST, that "we" just couldn't justify another CA-125 at that time. I changed doctors. And I'm sure glad I did. The new doc (same clinic) got me in right away and found out that, sure enough, my CA-125 was rapidly increasing. It got to 300+ (it was only 135 when I was diagnosed in 2009). Pretty scary, huh? Glad I got a new doc and didn't wait until August!

New doc, bless his heart, said that we're racing against time and started chemo immediately (well, as immediately as I would let him -- you, see, I needed a couple of weeks to take this all in.) The best treatment, he said, would have been a combination of Doxil and Carboplatin; however when it came time for my first treatment, there was a shortage of Doxil (that's a rant for another day). I started on the two drugs that I had before, Taxol (the best hair remover on the market) and Carboplatin.

I've had three treatments so far, and so far, they appear to be working. The plan has been to see if this works and if it doesn't we're going to take a little "vacation" to Houston, Texas, and see what those docs know. Road trip, yay! (NOT!) There are no mountains in Houston. I need mountains. Mountains speak to me.

So I guess I have concluded that I have a few more quarters and I'm back on the merry-go-round. Life is still good. Every day is precious.

Thanks for sharing my journey.

Philippians 4:13 - I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength. -- You can, too. Just talk to Him about it.

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